- Feb 27, 2023

becoming a Grand!

Monday, February 27, 2023

Welcome back!

Did you miss us last Thursday?

We missed you!

♥️

We took the day off to enjoy family time and to dig out…

Gotta love Minnesota winters… right?!?

This week we are turning back the clock a bit as we reflect

on the early days of our journey to becoming grandparents!

However, before we begin, Laurie has a special memory she is recalling…

Thirty-two years ago today, I became a mom for the first time!

Happy Birthday to my A who will always be my little baby!!

♥️

♥️ Once her baby, always her baby! ♥️

Speaking of babies…

It’s the moment many parents long for…

when your own baby shares the news that there is another baby on the way,

officially giving you the title of grandparent (or Grammy or Gramma, that is)!

SUCH JOY!

Today, Laurie shares a personal glimpse into her hopes and dreams

as the birth of her grandbaby neared.

Then she’ll suggest an ongoing way in which she preserves

those precious moments she experiences as a Grand!

Finally, we’ll offer a few bits of advice we’ve gathered

since we first learned the news that we'd be Grands!

A few weeks before I became a first-time Grammy in July of 2021,

I wrote the letter below.

While I wrote the letter primarily to myself,

it was also a love letter to my future grandchild…

To my dear little one I don’t know yet,

I am so excited to meet you! I can’t wait to hold you, and snuggle you, and kiss your soft sweet head and cheeks! My baby – I call you, even though I know you are not really. I already went through the sleepless nights, the worries, the colds and flus, the tantrums. This time around I get to enjoy the best of the best. I can’t wait…but I want this time to last forever. Does that make sense?

I love this feeling of anticipation. You are the biggest surprise yet! I don’t know if you are a boy or a girl, or what your name will be. I sit here and dream of being a grandma – having had some great role models in that department. I think of the future of taking you for walks, reading all my favorite books to you, seeing the beauty of the world in your new little eyes. I can’t wait to fill photo books full of your pictures and accomplishments. I love that feeling, feeling like I am on the brink of a brand new chapter and stage of my life. It’s like standing all tall and nervous on that high dive. You know once you step off, the feeling will be incredible and the water will feel wonderful! But for one minute you look down, and shiver with excitement. No matter what hard things were going on in the world or my life these last 9 months, I always had that sweet place in me where I could let my mind wander and say “My baby is having a baby”. It brought me peace and joy.

So even though I can’t wait to have you in my arms, I still cherish this little bit of time left. The beauty of the unknown. The anticipation of one of the world’s greatest joys. Take your time little one. But I’ll be waiting…

Love, Your Grammy

Two weeks later, in early July, Little D entered our world…

Our lives have never been the same!

This is such a special time in life!

Whether you are a first-time Grand or a grandma to many

with another new Little on the way,

there’s a lot you may want to look back on in the years to come!

You think you’ll remember it all… How could you possibly forget?

Hmmm!!!

Read on for Laurie’s solution!

Because I am what I call “a keeper of memories”, I knew I had to have a way to document all the moments of Little D’s life, and my journey as her grammy. I didn’t want a traditional baby book. I had already worked long and hard on those for my own 2 kids. I knew it had to be simple since I am hoping I may have more Littles in my life to reflect on, and I didn’t want to write a lot. So I chose a simple blank notebook that held special personal meaning to me and I simply started writing about Little D. Example: “Today Little D came home from the hospital.” I write about 2 sentences (with the date) a week - new and adorable things she has learned, her weight and height from doctor visits, my feelings about her, how she did at an activity or event.. It’s quick and easy, but it makes me feel like I am holding on to these special Grammy memories… Memories I want to remember forever!

♥️

Cherished memories, indeed!

Someday you may even choose to share your journal with your Littles…

filled with your feelings, your reactions, your memories and your words of wisdom!

What a gift of love that would be!

So many things have changed

since we had our babies decades ago!

Then babies slept on their sides. (Do you remember the “Back to Sleep” campaign?)

Now research shows that the safest position for babies to sleep in is on their backs!

Then we swaddled our babies for comfort and warmth at bedtime!

Now it is known to be dangerous to swaddle your baby at bedtime!

Then we filled the cribs with blankies, stuffed animals, bumper pads and a cute comforter.

Now - none of that belongs in or near the crib… especially when a baby is sleeping!!

Then we bundled up our babies for a warm ride in the car seat.

Now no jackets or anything that could constrain them or cause them to overheat!

Then we introduced cereals and other pureed baby foods early, around 2-3 months.

Now these often aren’t given til 6 months (or at all) to allow the digestive system to

mature OR for many babies their first solid food is larger, softer food… a chunk of sweet

potato or a wedge of avocado is often a first food choice!

The list goes on! Yes, times have definitely changed!

We all know that becoming a Grand

is one of the most rewarding roles we’ll ever take on!

Yet to fully embrace this new experience with ease and grace,

we’d like to pass on a few important lessons we’ve learned along the way!

Here are our TOP TIPS to ensure a successful transition to grandparenthood!

#1 - Honor Boundaries!

As we’ve mentioned, there is no denying that things have changed since we were raising our own children.! As Grands, we know how important it is to defer to the newest parents - our Middles - and the ongoing decisions they make for their little one! It’s their turn to be the parents and, as Grands, we need to respect their parenting style and only offer advice or input when or if it’s asked for!

#2 - Communicate Openly!

Communication is BIG and being an active listener is crucial! Let your Middles know up front that you understand that they will need to do things their way… and be sure that your actions match your words! Check in to ensure that you aren’t overstepping. Remember, too, that your words of trust and admiration may be just what your Middles need to build self-confidence as they begin this new journey as parents!

#3 - Be There!

Our Middles need to know that we are there for them! Words of encouragement and lending a helping hand, when possible, are two of the best ways to support your own kids during this transition!

#4 - Love Them Unconditionally!

This is the very best advice we’ve received! Spending quality time together, whenever possible, is the best way to form a strong and lasting connection! Take time to regularly complement and affirm your Middles, too, as they take on this new and unchartered territory!! Ooh and aah over every photo and video and memory shared and relish every smile, every giggle and every snuggle! Above all else, let your Middles and Littles know how loved they are - today, tomorrow and always!

As we were thinking about this post

we ran across this insightful article from My Life and Kids,

a letter written by a new mom to her parents and in-laws!

We just had to share it with you all!

(Tap here to read this beautiful letter!)

One of the most precious aspects of this journey is the lens it gives us to view our own children - our Middles - in a new light as they embrace parenthood and build beautiful families of their own! As Grands, we have already survived this stage of life, while raising our own children. Now, as we take a step back, our slower paced lifestyle often provides the gifts of time, energy and patience - all of which we joyfully and lovingly share with our Littles and their parents!